Until I looked them up, I never knew Harrison had so many statutes that applied to our cars. Up till now, I figured it was only illegal to actually have things applied to our cars. Like stupid bumper stickers.
Although I do like, "All men are idiots and I married their King!"
But, apparently, we have worse things to worry about when it comes to our vehicles.
Here are some of the biggies:
No one shall "disregard or disobey" any traffic control device. By which, I think they mean a signal light. But, I agree that "control device" sounds creepy and futuristic. But they're pretty much like the old devices. Even if they now come equipped with a Death Ray. Still, it misses more times than it hits.
The maximum speed at which you can drive in the village is usually 30 mph. Unless, of course, you're driving in front of me. In which case, you're usually doing some incomprehensible negative number that only Stephen Hawking could understand.
Then, there are one-way streets. The direction of these streets are clearly marked. So, please stop thinking you can choose which one way you go. No one cares if it suits your needs at the moment. That still doesn't make it right.
You cannot make a U-turn on any local highway. And yet, you can do a 360. What's up with that?
There are several rules about making turns at an intersection. They are so complicated, that certain people have been at these intersections for decades, trying to figure them out. How can you spot them? Well, if you see a guy whose bumper sticker reads, "Nixon's The One"? Better go around him.
Trust me on this.
The same advice applies to the section on "yielding" at an intersection. This explains all those people still stuck at intersections. They're not confused. They've just been yielding. For the past 40 years! And, as soon as you go? So will they.
Vehicles over certain weights will not be allowed on certain Harrison roads, nor will drivers over certain weights. If it looks like you're still in your car when you're walking around? Better check those rules about the sidewalks.
Any commercial vehicles over 10,000 pounds will be prohibited from most local highways. But, happily, they will be welcome at Jenny Craig.
Hey, it's a whole new stream of income for them. And once a truck loses that weight and starts to feel better about himself? He's a lot less likely to cause accidents on the road.
I mean, it just stands to reason.
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